Listen For This Simple Clue That Someone Is Attracted To You

How people signal attraction with their voice.

How people signal attraction with their voice.

People signal attraction to each other by lowering their voice pitch.

For both men and women, a lower voice pitch signalled attraction.

Dr Susan Hughes, the study’s first author, said:

“We found that both sexes used a lower-pitch voice and showed a higher level of physiological arousal when speaking to a more attractive opposite-sex target.”

For the study, 48 people were asked to leave a scripted voice message while viewing a picture of an invented person.

When they looked at a picture of a more attractive person, people used a lower pitched voice for the message.

Men were expected to lower their tone to signal attraction, which is what they did.

Dr Hughes expected that women would raise their voices to seem more attractive, but the opposite happened.

Dr Hughes said:

“There appears to be a common stereotype in our culture that deems a sexy female voice as one that sounds husky, breathy, and lower-pitched.

This suggests that the motivation to display a sexy/seductive female voice may conflict with the motivation to sound more feminine.”

It could be that women learn to lower their tone as it is an accepted signal, Dr Hughes said:

“When a woman naturally lowers her voice, it may be perceived as her attempt to sound more seductive or attractive, and therefore serves as a signal of her romantic interest.”

The research also found that the change in voice tone was large enough that people could spot it.

Dr Hughes said:

“These findings may have implications for the important role voice plays in mate selection and attraction.

If people can perceive changes in others’ voices when speaking to attractive individuals, this perception may be adaptive for identifying interested potential mates, detecting partner interest in others, and possible detection of partner infidelity.”

The study was published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior (Hughes et al., 2010).

This Popular Decision-Making Mistake Increases Regret, Not Reduces It (M)

People assume bad decisions hurt less when shared — but that’s not true.

People assume bad decisions hurt less when shared -- but that's not true.

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Children Lacking This Food In Their Diet Are Unkind & Unsociable (M)

Children who don’t eat enough of this food are more likely to be antisocial and unkind.

Children who don't eat enough of this food are more likely to be antisocial and unkind.

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Money: 10 Eye-Opening Effects It Has On The Human Mind (P)

Money shapes your happiness, decisions, and relationships in surprising ways.

Money shapes our lives in ways we often do not realise.

It influences our emotions, relationships and even our sense of self-worth.

From the way we spend to the way we feel about our earnings, science has uncovered fascinating insights that challenge common beliefs.

Here are some of the most eye-opening discoveries about money and the human mind.

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The Shocking Truth About Discrimination: It Can Rest On A Coin Flip (M)

What if discrimination is not just about group identity, but also a much more fundamental process in the brain?

What if discrimination is not just about group identity, but also a much more fundamental process in the brain?

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Who Talks More — Men or Women? Science Settles the Debate (M)

The research found that both men and women are talking less nowadays. Perhaps technology is to blame?

The research found that both men and women are talking less nowadays. Perhaps technology is to blame?

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The Hidden Bias That Skews How We See Friends And Family (M)

Our values shape how we see our friends and family — but not in the way you think.

Our values shape how we see our friends and family -- but not in the way you think.

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These 2 Dark Triad Personality Traits Are Highly Attractive

The study showed 128 young women personality profiles of various men.

The study showed 128 young women personality profiles of various men.

Extraverts with stable, or non-neurotic personalities are particularly attractive.

However, both of these personality traits also help explain the attraction of the ‘bad boy’ to women, who also tends to be laid-back and extraverted.

Narcissist and psychopaths are seen as both extraverted and having stable, non-neurotic personalities, the study found.

Both of these contribute to the attractiveness of men with ‘dark triad’ personalities.

The ‘dark triad’ of personality factors includes narcissism and psychopathy, along with Machiavellianism.

The study’s authors write:

“Women, particularly in respect of short-term mating, may be attracted to ‘bad boys’, possessing confidence, hard-headedness and an inclination to risk-take – all accurate descriptors of Dark Triad [DT] men; all attractive to women.”

Another explanation for the attractiveness of bad boys could be their superficial charm, the authors write:

“Women may be responding to DT men’s ability to ‘sell themselves’; a useful tactic in a co-evolutionary ‘arms race’ in which men convince women to pursue the former’s preferred sexual strategy.

This ability may derive from a ‘used-car dealer’ ability to charm and manipulate, and DT-associated traits such as assertiveness.

Men with a DT personality are undoubtedly well-placed to successfully implement such a strategy.”

The conclusions come from a study in which 128 young women were shown personality profiles of various men.

One was designed to be high in dark triad personality factors.

The results showed that women saw the ‘bad boy’ as more attractive, when appearance was held constant.

Here is the authors’ quick description of the dark triad personality traits:

“Narcissism is defined by a sense of entitlement, dominance and a grandiose self-view.

Machiavellians are interpersonally duplicitous, insincere and extraverted.

Psychopathy consists of callousness, a lack of empathy, and antisocial, erratic behaviour.”

The study was published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (Carter et al., 2014).

Social Validation: Why We Seek Approval

Explore why social validation is crucial for our emotional well-being and how it influences our actions in society.

Social validation is a psychological phenomenon where people seek approval and acceptance from others to shape their identity and decisions.

What is social validation?

Social validation refers to the human tendency to seek recognition and approval from others.

It is deeply embedded in human nature and influences decision-making, self-perception, and confidence.

From childhood, people learn that approval from parents, teachers, and peers leads to positive reinforcement.

As adults, this need for validation extends into social interactions, workplaces, and digital platforms.

The psychology behind social validation

People are social creatures who thrive on connection and approval.

Social validation activates the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine, which creates a feeling of pleasure.

This neurological response makes validation-seeking behaviour highly reinforcing.

The concept of social proof, introduced by psychologist Robert Cialdini, explains how people look to others to determine correct behaviour, especially in uncertain situations.

This is why people often follow trends, adopt popular opinions, or seek likes and comments on social media.

The historical evolution of social validation

Social validation has existed since the earliest human societies.

In tribal communities, acceptance by the group was crucial for survival.

Exclusion meant a loss of resources, protection, and social bonds, making validation a necessity.

As civilisations developed, social hierarchies emerged, and validation became linked to status, reputation, and influence.

Today, social validation is not just about survival but also about personal and professional success.

Social validation in the digital age

The rise of social media has amplified social validation.

Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok are designed to encourage validation through likes, shares, and comments.

People often measure their self-worth based on social media engagement, leading to both positive and negative consequences.

How social media influences validation-seeking behaviour

  • Instant feedback mechanisms create a cycle of reward and reinforcement.
  • Algorithm-driven content prioritises engagement, making users more likely to seek validation.
  • The pressure to maintain an online persona increases self-monitoring and comparison with others.
  • Fear of missing out (FOMO) encourages people to engage in behaviours that align with popular trends.

The positive effects of social validation

Social validation is not inherently negative.

When balanced, it can lead to growth, motivation, and stronger relationships.

Ways social validation can be beneficial

  • Encourages self-improvement through constructive feedback.
  • Strengthens social bonds by fostering a sense of belonging.
  • Boosts confidence and self-esteem when received from meaningful sources.
  • Validates expertise and credibility in professional settings.
  • Provides motivation to achieve personal and career goals.

The dark side of social validation

While social validation has benefits, excessive dependence on it can lead to emotional distress and unhealthy behaviours.

Potential drawbacks of validation-seeking behaviour

  • Over-reliance on external approval can diminish self-worth.
  • Social comparison can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
  • Seeking validation through social media can create a distorted self-image.
  • Fear of rejection can prevent individuals from expressing their true thoughts and feelings.
  • Chasing validation can lead to inauthenticity, where people conform rather than stay true to themselves.

Cultural differences in social validation

Social validation varies across cultures, shaped by societal norms, traditions, and values.

In collectivist cultures, such as those in East Asia, social approval plays a significant role in decision-making.

Conformity is often encouraged, and individuals seek validation from family and community.

In individualistic cultures, like those in Western societies, personal achievement and self-expression are emphasised, and validation is often linked to personal success rather than group acceptance.

How to balance external validation and self-worth

Achieving a balance between seeking social validation and maintaining self-worth is essential for mental well-being.

Strategies to cultivate a healthy mindset include focusing on self-validation, setting personal standards, and reducing dependence on external approval.

Practical strategies for reducing dependence on external validation

  • Develop self-awareness to understand what truly matters to you.
  • Practice self-validation by recognising your achievements and strengths.
  • Limit social media consumption to avoid excessive comparison.
  • Surround yourself with people who support and appreciate you for who you are.
  • Engage in activities that bring personal fulfilment rather than external approval.

The future of social validation

As digital interactions continue to evolve, social validation will remain a significant part of human behaviour.

Emerging technologies, such as virtual reality and artificial intelligence, may further shape validation-seeking behaviours.

Future trends may involve new ways of measuring social approval, potentially leading to deeper discussions about authenticity, self-worth, and mental health.

Conclusion

Social validation is a natural and powerful force in human behaviour.

While seeking approval can be beneficial, it is crucial to maintain a healthy balance and avoid excessive dependence on external validation.

By fostering self-awareness and self-acceptance, individuals can navigate social validation in a way that enhances their well-being and personal growth.

Why One Rude Colleague Can Ruin The Entire Office Dynamic

This common behaviour spreads like wildfire in the office.

This common behaviour spreads like wildfire in the office.

Rudeness in the workplace is contagious.

Experiencing rude behaviour makes people more likely to expect it later on.

That expectation then causes people to behave more rudely to others.

The conclusions come from a psychology study of graduate students who were practising negotiation with their classmates.

The researchers found that people who negotiated with someone rated as rude were more likely to be rated as rude by someone else later on.

The effects held even when there was a week between the first and second negotiation.

Mr Trevor Foulk, one of the study’s authors, said:

“When you experience rudeness, it makes rudeness more noticeable.

You’ll see more rudeness even if it’s not there.”

Rudeness spreads so easily partly because people are remarkably tolerant of it, said Mr Foulk:

“Part of the problem is that we are generally tolerant of these behaviors, but they’re actually really harmful.

Rudeness has an incredibly powerful negative effect on the workplace.”

Rudeness also spreads easily because it primes our brains to detect rudeness.

In a further study, people who’d witnessed a rude interaction were quicker to pick out rude words from a list.

“That tells us that rudeness will flavor the way you interpret ambiguous cues.”

In other words: immediately after experiencing rudeness, you tend to be on the lookout for it.

Mr Foulk believes employers should take everyday incivilities more seriously:

“You might go your whole career and not experience abuse or aggression in the workplace, but rudeness also has a negative effect on performance.

It isn’t something you can just turn your back on.

It matters.”

The study was published in the Journal of Applied Psychology (Foulk et al., 2015).

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