Category: Relationships

Most people make relationship sacrifices in one way or another, but I’m always suspect of people who specifically emphasise them. It’s inevitable that one partner’s interests in a relationship will clash with the other, perhaps only occasionally, perhaps frequently. They get a job at the other end of the country, your family and friends live close by. What to do? When two people have to make this kind of choice, a compromise is eventually reached. New research suggests, though, that it is the way this compromise is interpreted that will have important implications for the relationship.

Continue reading “Is Sacrifice in Relationships Related to Commitment and Functioning?”

Although divorce/relationship breakdown happens at a number of levels – psychological, legal, economic – it is children that are usually the first concern. Who will take custody? How will the parents manage their relationship after they have separated? Continuing the series on the psychology of relationships, this post examines five broad ways psychological research has found people negotiate their newfound status as ‘separated parents’.

Continue reading “Parental Relationships After Divorce: From ‘Perfect Pals’ to ‘Fiery Foes’”

Unlike ‘love’ and ‘commitment’, the words ‘relationship satisfaction’ are unlikely to strike fear into the heart of the unreconstructed man (or reconstructed woman). But once a relationship has become long-term, although we still talk about love and commitment, in some ways it’s satisfaction that comes to the forefront. Indeed, low satisfaction is an important predictor of relationship breakdown. So, what factors have psychologists found are important in how satisfied we are with our relationships?

Continue reading “Seven Signs of Relationship (Dis)Satisfaction”

According to new research, writing down affectionate thoughts about close friends and family can reduce your cholesterol levels. Floyd et al. (2007) randomly assigned participants to one of two groups: one experimental and one control. The experimental group wrote with affection about one person in their lives for 20 minutes on three occasions over a five-week period. The control group wrote mundane descriptions of their activities over the week, jobs they had done and places they had lived.

Continue reading “Affectionate Writing Can Reduce Cholesterol”

Continuing the ongoing series on the psychology of relationships, this post takes a look at an event that can end everything: infidelity. A lot of the psychology research on relationships has focussed on the predictors of infidelity. But what tends to get lost is its affect on the relationship. A new study by Hall and Fincham (2006) looks at just this and finds it comes down to how you answer the question why.

Continue reading “Your Partner Has Been Unfaithful. The Question is Why.”

This series of posts starts – at the start – with the simple question of why we even need strong relationships. This might seem like asking why do we need food, water or oxygen. But, although people often talk up relationships, their behaviour tells a different story.

Continue reading “Why Health Benefits of Good Relationships Rival Exercise and Nutrition”

In life there’s hardly anything as difficult as going it alone; having someone to lean on can make even the bitterest of life’s blows tolerable. Research even suggests that relationships are as vital to our health as good nutrition and regular exercise, perhaps more so (see: health benefits of relationships).

Human relationships have an incredible complexity and variety which psychologists have only just begun to fathom. The posts collected below examine some of the emerging aspects of research on the psychology of relationships.

Starting new relationships

• Getting Closer: The Art of Self-Disclosure
• Internet Dating 1.0 is Unsatisfying and Aversive – Welcome to 2.0
• Why Familiarity Really Does Breed Contempt
• Friendships Can Depend on Who You Meet First
• The Psychology of Internet Dating
• Reasons For Online Dating Vary Widely
• Speed Dating is Survival of the Hottest
• The Hidden Purpose of Chat-up Lines
• Women’s Makeup Draws 33% More Men
• Why Men Prefer Direct Pick-Up Lines

Established relationships

• Empathy Causes Facial Similarity Between Couples to Increase Over Time
• Is Marriage Dying? No. (Well, Probably Not)
• Objects in the Home Reflect Your Relationship
• How ‘Naive Cynicism’ May Poison Your Relationships
• Kissing Secrets: Why Men Prefer More Saliva (And Other Revelations)

The end of the relationship?

• Your Partner Has Been Unfaithful. The Question is Why?
• People ‘Playing the Field’ More Angry At Infidelity
• Seven Signs of Relationship (Dis)Satisfaction
• Parental Relationships After Divorce: From ‘Perfect Pals’ to ‘Fiery Foes’

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Speed dating is huge now, but be careful you know what you’re getting into. The latest psychological research suggests your ‘great personality’ might not get ticks in boxes. So what have psychologists found out so far?

Continue reading “Speed Dating is Survival of the Hottest”

“Polyamory is a neologism, signifying having more than one long term sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Persons who enter into or consider themselves emotionally suited to such relationships may define themselves as polyamorous, often abbreviated to poly. The term is sometimes extended to refer to similar committed familial relationships that are not sexual in nature.” [From Wikipedia]

Wikipedia has an excellent discussion of some of the issues this raises. Still it doesn’t address the more practical points. Which partner do you go home to in the evening? What happens if two of your partners share the same birthday? Whose parents do you visit at Christmas?

All the normal problems of a monogamous relationship are suddenly mulitplied two, three or four-fold. I have the greatest respect for anyone who can even aspire to the ideals of polyamory, let alone pull it off.
The Guardian
The Independent