This is How Radically Modern Marriage Has Changed

Almost everyone wants to get married eventually — but the reasons have changed.

Almost everyone wants to get married eventually — but the reasons have changed.

Marriage is now more about children than an institution based on gender specialisation, a new study concludes.

Intensive investment in children is now the drive behind modern marriage, rather than economic necessity.

Professor Shelly Lundberg, a demographer and one of the study’s authors, said:

“In a gender-specialized economy, where men and women are playing very different productive roles, you need the long-term commitment to protect the vulnerable party, who in this case is the woman.

But when women’s educational attainment increased and surpassed that of men, and women became more committed to jobs and careers, the kind of economic disparity that supported a division of labor in the household eroded.”

But marriage means different things to different parts of society, Professor Lundberg explained:

“What we see is a striking adherence to traditional marriage patterns among the college educated and those with higher professional degrees.

While marriage rates have declined consistently over time, they have declined far more among people whose education level is high school or some college.”

More educated and higher income mothers also spend more time with their children than they did 30 years ago:

“In terms of time and money, the well-educated, higher-income parents have increased their investments in children much more than those with lower incomes.

They have the know-how and the resources and they expect to help their children become economically successful in a way that may seem out of reach for parents with much lower levels of resources.”

Despite all these changes, most men and women still do marry eventually:

“If you look at the fraction of people 50 years old who have ever married, the differences between the education groups are very, very small.

What is really distinctive is the timing of marriage and the very high proportion of women with a high school diploma or some college who have their first child either on their own or within a cohabitating relationship, which is extremely rare among people with a college degree or higher.

The timing is extraordinarily suggestive.

Almost everyone wants to get married eventually.

The question is when, and do you wait until you get married before you have a child?”

The study was published in the journal The Future of Children (Lundberg & Pollak, 2015).

Marriage image from Shutterstock

Men Thought Less Housework Meant More Sex…And Then This Happened

There’s a relationship advantage for men who do the chores.

There’s a relationship advantage for men who do the chores.

Men who take on their fair share of chores around the house tend to have a better sex life, new research shows.

Men who contribute to the housework, psychologists have found, have more sex and it is more satisfying.

The data from German couples directly contradicts the results of a 2012 US study, which found the opposite.

But the earlier study didn’t ring true to Professor Matt Johnson, one of the new study’s authors.

Professor Johnson, who was previously a couple’s therapists, said:

“In any relationship, the amount of housework is going to mean something different based on the couple’s context, based on their own expectations for what each partner should be doing, and their comparison levels of what happens with other couples they know.”

Data from 1,338 German couples showed that when men perceived they did their fair share, the couple had more sex and it was more satisfying.

But could there be a fundamental difference between US and German couples?

Professor Johnson said:

“There are cultural differences but if the logic held from the prior studies, we would have expected to have a more pronounced negative impact of housework on sexuality in Germany because it’s a bit more traditional.

But that wasn’t the case at all.”

Of course, we can’t tell that doing a fair share of housework causes better sex from this research, but the link is fascinating and certainly questions the earlier, widely reported study.

Professor Johnson said:

“Rather than avoiding chores in the hopes of having more sex, as prior research would imply, men are likely to experience more frequent and satisfying passion for both partners between the sheets when they simply do their fair share.”

The study was published in the Journal of Family Psychology (Johnson et al., 2015).

Couple image from Shutterstock

The Body Map of Acceptable Social Touching

Where people do and don’t like to be touched, according to social relationship.

Where people do and don’t like to be touched, according to social relationship.

People are surprisingly reticent about being touched socially, a new study finds.

While social kissing has become fashionable, people still recoil at high levels of intimacy from a stranger.

The study asked over 1,300 people from Finland, England, Italy, France and Russia where different people could touch them, depending on the relationship.

Here are the results, with lighter areas being those which are acceptable for a person with that relationship to touch.

Where there are differences between men and women, the blue refers to men and the red to women.

social_touching

Here are the body maps for more distant social relationships:

social_touching2

Ms Juulia Suvilehto, the study’s first author, said:

“Our findings indicate that touching is an important means of maintaining social relationships.

The bodily maps of touch were closely associated with the pleasure caused by touching.

The greater the pleasure caused by touching a specific area of the body, the more selectively we allow others to touch it.”

Few major differences were seen in the types of social touching allowed between the different cultures.

Professor Lauri Nummenmaa, one of the study’s authors, said:

‘The results emphasise the importance of non-verbal communication in social relationships.

Social relationships are important for well-being throughout peoples’ life, and their lack poses a significant psychological and somatic health risk.

Our results help to understand the mechanisms related to maintaining social relationships and the associated disorders

The study was published in the journal PNAS (Suvilehto et al., 2015).

Handshake image from Shutterstock

Happier People Are Raised By Parents Who Do These Two Things

Poor parenting still resonating with people now in their 60s as much as the death of a loved one.

Poor parenting still resonating with people now in their 60s as much as the death of a loved one.

Children of parents who are warmer and less controlling grow up happier, a new study finds.

In contrast, parents who are overly controlling tend to bring up children with worse mental well-being.

Dr Mai Stafford, one of the study’s authors, said:

“We found that people whose parents showed warmth and responsiveness had higher life satisfaction and better mental wellbeing throughout early, middle and late adulthood.”

The study tracked 5,362 people from their birth in 1946.

Over sixty years later, 2,000 of them completed a series of follow-up surveys including one asking about how controlling their parents were.

Controlling parents did not allow their children to make their own decisions and fostered too much dependence on them.

Controlling parents also invaded their children’s privacy and didn’t allow them to have their own opinions.

The negative effect of controlling parents was still felt by people in their 60s.

The researchers likened the damaging effect to the death of a loved one.

The other problematic factor — lack of parental warmth — makes it difficult to have a strong bond with parents.

A strong emotional attachment to parents provides a better base from which children can explore the world.

The study was published in The Journal of Positive Psychology (Stafford et al., 2015).

Parent image from Shutterstock

The Type of Smile That Helps Start New Relationships

People feel emotionally close to others displaying this type of smile.

People feel emotionally close to others displaying this type of smile.

A ‘Duchenne smile’ is a powerful way of striking up a new relationship, a new study finds.

People are highly tuned to the Duchenne smile, which involves upturned lips and crinkly eyes.

And they can easily spot a fake smile, which tends to involve only the mouth and not the eyes.

The research tested how much people are aware of each other’s emotions, whether negative or positive.

It found that people were more aware of positive emotions in other people than negative.

It also found that a genuine smile was a strong sign of cooperation and affiliation.

People felt emotionally closer to strangers who showed positive emotions.

The positive emotion that was particularly attractive was awe.

Dr Belinda Campos, who led the research, said:

“Our findings provide new evidence of the significance of positive emotions in social settings and highlight the role that positive emotions display in the development of new social connections.

People are highly attuned to the positive emotions of others and can be more attuned to others’ positive emotions than negative emotions.”

The study was published in the journal Motivation and Emotion (Campos et al., 2015).

→ Read on: 10 Hidden Benefits of Smiling

Image credit: greekadman

Digit Ratio: A Man’s Fingers Can Signal He’ll Be 30% Nicer

Digit ratio signals how much men will listen attentively, be complimentary and compromise.

Digit ratio signals how much men will listen attentively, be complimentary and compromise.

Men whose ring fingers are longer than their index fingers — a low digit ratio — are, on average, nicer towards women.

The new research suggests this may also explain why men with a bigger difference in length between the two fingers also tend to have more children.

In general, men’s ring fingers are longer than their index fingers.

For women, there’s usually less difference between index and ring finger.

This difference is caused by hormone exposure in the womb.

The study, which is published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, had 155 men and women record their social interactions over almost three weeks (Moskowitz et al., 2015).

Each time they spoke to someone for more than five minutes, afterwards they checked off a list of behaviours they performed.

These behaviours indicated how quarrelsome or how agreeable they were being during each interaction.

The results showed that men with longer ring fingers in comparison to their index fingers were around 30% more agreeable — but only when interacting with women.

No difference was seen for women and for men talking to other men.

Professor Debbie Moskowitz, the study’s first author, said:

“When with women, men with smaller ratios were more likely to listen attentively, smile and laugh, compromise or compliment the other person.”

Professor Simon Young, another of the study’s authors said:

“It is fascinating to see that moderate variations of hormones before birth can actually influence adult behaviour in a selective way.”

The results may explain why, as previous studies have shown, men with longer ring fingers in comparison to their index fingers tend to have more children.

Professor Moskowitz said:

“Our research suggests they have more harmonious relationships with women; these behaviors support the formation and maintenance of relationships with women.

This might explain why they have more children on average.”

Measure your digit ratio

Here’s how to measure your digit ratio.

It’s the length of your index finger (2D) divided by the length of your ring finger (4D) as shown below.

digit ratio

The average digit ratio for men is 0.947 and for women it is 0.965.

Man’s hands image from Shutterstock

This is What Childhood Trauma Does To Human Longevity

The effects of a stressful early childhood on critical biological processes.

The effects of a stressful early childhood on critical biological processes.

Having a stressful childhood has been linked in a new study to genetic changes which may cause accelerated aging.

The study, published online in the journal Biological Psychiatry, found connections between both childhood adversity and psychiatric disorders and critical changes at the cellular level (Tyrka et al., 2015).

Professor Audrey Tyrka, who led the study, said:

“We are interested in these relationships because there is now clear evidence that stress exposure and psychiatric conditions are associated with inflammation and health conditions like diabetes and heart disease.

Identifying the changes that occur at a cellular level due to these psychosocial factors allows us to understand the causes of these poor health conditions and possibly the overall aging process.”

For the research, 290 adults were asked whether they had lost parents as children or been maltreated in any way.

They were also assessed for mental health problems, including depression, anxiety and addictions.

The results showed that both mental health problems and childhood adversity were associated with shortening of telomeres — caps on each strand of DNA which affect how the cells age.

Shorter telomeres have been repeatedly linked to accelerated aging.

The study also found a link between childhood adversity and/or mental health problems and changes in mitochondrial DNA.

These changes in mitochondrial DNA may be involved in mental health problems, although little is known about the connection at present.

Professor Tyrka continued:

“Understanding this biology is necessary to move toward better treatment and prevention options for stress-related psychiatric and medical conditions, and may shed light on the aging process itself.”

Image credit: Neil Palmer

This Early Parental Behaviour Predicts A Child’s Academic and Social Skills 3 Decades Later

This parental behaviour in the first three years is vital to a child’s future success.

This parental behaviour in the first three years is vital to a child’s future success.

Sensitive caregiving in the first three years of life can predict academic achievement and social competence all the way into adulthood, a new study finds.

Parents who are sensitive caregivers tend to respond to their child’s signals promptly and appropriately.

Sensitive parents are also positively involved in interactions with the child and provide a secure base for them to explore the world.

Dr. Lee Raby, who led the study, said:

“The study indicates that the quality of children’s early caregiving experiences has an enduring and ongoing role in promoting successful social and academic development into the years of maturity.”

The conclusions, published in the journal Child Development, come from a study of 243 people born into poverty from a range of backgrounds (Raby et al., 2014).

Their progress was followed from birth to age 32 as part of the Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation.

Parents were observed interacting with their children during the first three years of the infants’ lives.

Later on, children completed standardised tests and their social adaptation was reported on by their teachers.

The researchers continued to follow the children, even into their twenties and thirties, asking them about their adult relationships and academic attainment.

The results showed that even into their thirties, those early caregiving experiences continued to be linked to their eventual academic attainment.

Social functioning was less strongly linked to early caregiving experiences with the effect tailing off into participants’ thirties.

Dr Raby said:

“Altogether, the study suggests that children’s experiences with parents during the first few years of life have a unique role in promoting social and academic functioning–not merely during the first two decades of life, but also during adulthood.

This suggests that investments in early parent-child relationships may result in long-term returns that accumulate across individuals’ lives.

Because individuals’ success in relationships and academics represents the foundation for a healthy society, programs and initiatives that equip parents to interact with their children in a sensitive manner during the first few years of their children’s life can have long-term benefits for individuals, families, and society at large.”

Image credit: Stephan Hochhaus

Same-Sex Parenting Does Not Harm Children, Research Review Finds

Are two mothers better than one?

Are two mothers better than one?

Children who are raised by same-sex parents do just as well in social development, education and emotionally as those raised by heterosexual couples, an Australian review of the research finds.

In Australia 11% of gay men and 33% of lesbians have children–figures which will likely increase as barriers are reduced.

The review of the research was conduced by Deb Dempsey and commissioned by the Australian Institute of Family Studies (Dempsey, 2014).

The research certainly does not support the view that children brought up by same-sex parents are harmed as a result.

Two mothers

Quite the contrary, children brought up by lesbians may benefit from having two mothers–often reporting better relationships with their children and displaying higher levels of involvement.

The reason for this could be…

“…due to the “double dose” of “feminine” parenting. Just as heterosexual mothers usually have greater care-giving responsibilities and display greater parenting skill than heterosexual fathers, lesbian mothers appear to bring this gendered tendency to their parenting relationships.” (Dempsey, 2014).

While the review was broadly positive, some worries were expressed: children of same-sex parents are more likely to report concerns about bullying or other abuse based on the sexuality of their parents.

Set against this, the review finds that while there is fear of this type of bullying or abuse, it is not often actually experienced.

Equitable but not identical

Same-sex couples are also more likely to set an equitable example for their children. They are more likely to share the housework and to avoid privileging work over home-life.

While some studies have found negative effects on children of having same-sex parents (e.g. Regnerus, 2012), these have not taken into account the higher rates of separation amongst same-sex couples.

Experts no longer try to claim that outcomes of same-sex parenting are identical to heterosexual couples– along with some potential advantages comes the social stigma and higher rates of separation.

Nevertheless, a report from the American Academy of Pediatrics points out:

“Over the past decade, 11 countries have recognized marriage equality and, thus, allow marriage between 2 partners of the same gender: Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, and Sweden. There has been no evidence that children in these countries have experienced difficulties as a result of these social changes.” (Perrin et al., 2013)

Image credit: Caitlin Childs

Childhood Poverty and Stress Harms Adult Brain Function

Childhood stress and poverty linked to problems regulating the emotions in adulthood, according to a new study.

Childhood stress and poverty linked to problems regulating the emotions in adulthood, according to a new study.

There’s no sugar-coating it: growing up relatively poor is bad for you.

Children from less affluent families are, on average, more likely to suffer both physical and psychological illnesses later in life.

This is hardly a surprise, but it’s a puzzle exactly how poverty influences psychological problems.

One idea is that exposure to stress at a young age–while the brain is still developing–causes permanent damage to the ability to deal with stress.

This theory has been lent support by a new study in which researchers tested the brain function of participants at 24-years-old, 15 years after their childhood situations had first been assessed (Kim et al., 2013).

The test itself involved controlling the emotions: participants were asked to look at pictures while trying to suppress negative emotions.

Being able to control your emotions is a key factor in coping with all the stresses and strains that life throws at people.

The results showed that those whose families were the poorest when they were 9-years-old performed the worst on the tests as 24-year-olds.

And, it didn’t matter if they had subsequently climbed out of poverty; it was coming from a poor background that was the overriding factor in how their brains functioned on this test.

One of the study’s authors, Professor K. Luan Phan, explained:

“Our findings suggest that the stress-burden of growing up poor may be an underlying mechanism that accounts for the relationship between poverty as a child and how well your brain works as an adult.”

Poor but well-balanced?

It wasn’t only childhood poverty that was connected to lower control over the emotions, childhood stress was important too.

Some participants had been relatively poor as children but had been protected from childhood stress–they performed better on the emotional suppression task.

Those who had been exposed to both childhood poverty and many stressors–like noise, poor housing, violence and family turmoil–did the worst on the test.

As if we needed any more encouragement to tackle inequality in society, especially among children.

Image credit: ferendus

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