The effect of snooping around your partner’s phone.
The skill is linked to much better long-term marital satisfaction.
How social media could be damaging your relationship — and what to do about it.
People were given a stress test involving putting their hand into cold water.
People gained weight despite eating more healthily.
People gained weight despite eating more healthily.
Being in a settled relationship increases the chances of weight gain, new research finds.
Over the 10 years of the study, couples put on more weight than single people.
The weight gain occurred despite couples eating more healthily, including consuming more fruits and vegetables.
It may be partly because couples feel free to ‘let themselves go’.
Having children may increase weight gain even more as parents tend to eat their snacks and leftovers.
The study’s authors write:
“…couples were more likely [than single people] to meet recommendations for fruit, vegetable, fast food and alcohol consumption, and they were more likely to be a non-smoker.
These findings are consistent with the results from previous research showing that being in a committed romantic relationship is associated with health promoting behaviours.”
The conclusions come from a study of 15,001 people in Australia who were followed for 10 years.
The results showed that couples put on more weight than single people in this period.
It may be partly because people tend to eat more together than they do alone:
“…whilst family meals may include more healthy foods such as fruits and vegetables and less fast food, people often consume larger portion sizes and more calories in the company of others than they do alone
[…]Further, the unhealthy but tempting eating habits of one spouse may migrate to the other.
For example, [one study] showed that husbands detrimentally influence the diet of their wives by increasing the consumption of fat and meat.”
Couples are also usually less concerned with attracting a partner, the authors write:
“Another interesting explanation is the marriage-market theory which suggests that married people who are no longer concerned with attracting a mate gain weight.
Entry into cohabitation or marriage is associated with a decline in the desire to maintain weight for the purpose of attracting a mate.”
The study was published in the journal PLoS ONE (Schoeppe et al., 2018).
The skill that improves both romantic relationships and parenting skills.
The skill that improves both romantic relationships and parenting skills.
Being tuned in to the other person’s needs is the simple skill that improves relationships, research finds.
Psychologists call it ‘responsive caregiving’ and it means being aware of your partner’s mood and how to respond to it.
For example, sometimes people want cheering up, other times they prefer to be left alone.
Responsive caregiving not only improves relationships between parents, but is also good for children.
The study revealed that a common set of skills improved all family relationships.
Dr Abigail Millings, who led the study, said:
“It might be the case that practicing being sensitive and responsive — for example, by really listening and by really thinking about the other person’s perspective — to our partners will also help us to improve these skills with our kids.
But we need to do more research to see whether the association can actually be used in this way.”
The study involved 125 couples and their children.
The results revealed that responsive caregiving was the key to being a good partner and was also linked to good relationships with children.
Dr Millings said:
“If you can do responsive caregiving, it seems that you can do it across different relationships.
[It is the] capacity to be ‘tuned in’ to what the other person needs.In romantic relationships and in parenting, this might mean noticing when the other person has had a bad day, knowing how to cheer them up, and whether they even want cheering up.
[And it’s not] just about picking you up when you’re down, it’s also about being able to respond appropriately to the good stuff in life.”
The study was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (Millings et al., 2013).
The trait is linked higher relationship satisfaction in both partners.
This could be why you’re still single or happily married.
This could be why you’re still single or happily married.
People inherit their relationship patterns from their mothers, new research finds.
Both men and women whose mothers have a higher number of romantic partners are likely to have more partners themselves.
Similarly, mothers who divorce or serially cohabit, have children who are more likely to divorce and serially cohabit.
A person is more likely to break up their cohabitation if their mother also does so frequently.
It is probably because mothers pass on their relationship patterns to their children.
Dr Claire Kamp Dush, who led the study, said:
“Our results suggest that mothers may have certain characteristics that make them more or less desirable on the marriage market and better or worse at relationships.
Children inherit and learn those skills and behaviors and may take them into their own relationships.”
The study followed over 3,200 mothers and their children for 24 years.
It tracked how people married and divorced across the generations and their subsequent relationships.
Dr Kamp Dush said:
“It’s not just divorce now.
Many children are seeing their parents divorce, start new cohabiting relationships, and having those end as well.
All of these relationships can influence children’s outcomes, as we see in this study.”
Those who saw their mothers having more relationships tended to copy this themselves.
Dr Kamp Dush said:
“You may see cohabitation as an attractive, lower-commitment type of relationship if you’ve seen your mother in such a relationship for a longer time.
That may lead to more partners since cohabitating relationships are more likely to break-up.”
Mothers pass on their characteristics to their children, Dr Kamp Dush said:
“What our results suggest is that mothers may pass on their marriageable characteristics and relationship skills to their children — for better or worse.
It could be that mothers who have more partners don’t have great relationship skills, or don’t deal with conflict well, or have mental health problems, each of which can undermine relationships and lead to instability.
Whatever the exact mechanisms, they may pass these characteristics on to their children, making their children’s relationships less stable.”
The study was published in the journal PLOS ONE (Kamp Dush et al., 2018).
Marriage is about balancing what you put in with what you expect to get out.
Marriage is about balancing what you put in with what you expect to get out.
Couples are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with their marriages because they are demanding more without putting in the necessary time.
Spouses either need to demand less from their relationship or put in more effort, says psychologist Professor Eli Finkel.
Increasingly, those with children put all their time into parenting and those without children concentrate on work.
As a result, there is less time to spend on the relationship.
Professor Finkel, the study’s first author, sees two options:
“You can demand less from your partner, focusing less on resource-intensive self-expressive needs, or supply more time and other resources into the marriage.”
It is not so much that people demand more from modern marriages than they used to, though, says Professor Finkel:
“The issue isn’t that Americans are expecting more versus less from their marriage, but rather that the nature of what they are expecting has changed.
They’re asking less of their marriage regarding basic physiological and safety needs, but they’re asking more of their marriage regarding higher psychological needs like the need for personal growth.”
The best marriages now are probably better than they ever were in the past, but many do not reach these exacting standards.
Professor Finkel says:
“In contemporary marriages, Americans look to their marriage to help them ‘find themselves’ and to pursue careers and other activities that facilitate the expression of their core self.
However, developing such insight requires a heavy investment of time and psychological resources in the marriage, not to mention strong relationship skills and interpersonal compatibility.”
Marriage is about balancing what you put in with what you expect to get out, says Professor Finkel:
“In general, if you want your marriage to help you achieve self-expression and personal growth, it’s crucial to invest sufficient time and energy in the marriage.
If you know that the time and energy aren’t available, then it makes sense to adjust your expectations accordingly to minimize disappointment.”
The study was published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science (Finkel et al., 2015).
This is how your relationship affects your sleep.
This is how your relationship affects your sleep.
Having a responsive partner is linked to better sleep, research finds.
Responsiveness means more than just listening, it is being tuned in to your partner’s needs and feeling compassion.
The most powerful way of being responsive is firstly, listening to and understanding what they are going through and secondly, responding with sympathy and compassion.
Responsiveness creates a sense of validation and feeling cared for.
Dr Emre Selçuk, the study’s lead author, said:
“Our findings show that individuals with responsive partners experience lower anxiety and arousal, which in turn improves their sleep quality.”
Sleep has the most restorative effect when it is high quality and uninterrupted.
People sleep better when they feel safe and secure, Dr Selçuk said:
“Having responsive partners who would be available to protect and comfort us should things go wrong is the most effective way for us humans to reduce anxiety, tension, and arousal.”
The conclusions come from 698 married and cohabiting couples.
All completed measures of partner responsiveness and any sleep problems.
The results revealed that those who felt the most cared for, validated and understood had the best sleep.
Dr Selçuk said:
“Taken together, the corpus of evidence we obtained in recent years suggests that our best bet for a happier, healthier, and a longer life is having a responsive partner.”
The study was published in the journal Social Personality and Psychological Science (Selcuk et al., 2016).
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