Category: Relationships

Phubbing is a phone behaviour linked to depression and lower relationship satisfaction.

Phones could be damaging romantic relationships and leading to depression, a study finds.

Researchers looked at the impact of snubbing your partner to look at your phone.

They have called this ‘phubbing’ (phone snubbing).

Dr James A. Roberts, the study’s first author, said:

“What we discovered was that when someone perceived that their partner phubbed them, this created conflict and led to lower levels of reported relationship satisfaction.

These lower levels of relationship satisfaction, in turn, led to lower levels of life satisfaction and, ultimately, higher levels of depression.”

Examples of phubbing include:

• My partner places his or her phone where they can see it when we are together.
• My partner keeps his or her phone in their hand when he or she is with me.
• My partner glances at his/her phone when talking to me.
• If there is a lull in our conversation, my partner will check his or her phone.

The survey, which included 145 people, found:

• 46% had been ‘phubbed’ by their partner.
• 23% said this phubbing caused conflict in their relationships.
• 37% felt depressed at least some of the time.

Dr Meredith David, another of the study’s authors, said:

“In everyday interactions with significant others, people often assume that momentary distractions by their cell phones are not a big deal.

However, our findings suggest that the more often a couple’s time spent together is interrupted by one individual attending to his/her cellphone, the less likely it is that the other individual is satisfied in the overall relationship.

Specifically, momentary distractions by one’s cellphone during time spent with a significant other likely lowers the significant other’s satisfaction with their relationship, and could lead to enhanced feelings of depression and lower well-being of that individual.

Thus, when spending time with one’s significant other, we encourage individuals to be cognizant of the interruptions caused by their cellphones, as these may well be harmful to their relationship.”

The study was published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior (Roberts et al., 2016).

Both husbands and wives can benefit from this simple technique.

Acting compassionately towards your partner makes you feel better, even if your partner doesn’t notice it.

Compassionate acts include things like expressing tenderness, showing your partner they were valued and changing plans to accommodate your partner.

The study examined 175 newlyweds who had been together an average of 7 months.

Professor Harry Reis, the study’s first author, said:

“Our study was designed to test a hypothesis put forth by Tenzin Gyatso, the current Dalai Lama.

That compassionate concern for others’ welfare enhances one’s own affective state.”

For the study, the couples kept a diary over two weeks recording when they acted compassionately towards their partners.

The study’s author describe ‘compassionate acts’ as:

“…caregiving that is freely given, focused on understanding and genuine acceptance of the other’s needs and wishes, and expressed through openness, warmth, and a willingness to put a partner’s goals ahead of one’s own.”

The results showed that partners benefited from receiving compassionate acts, but only if they noticed them.

However, performing the compassionate act was beneficial to the partner that did it, whether their partner noticed or not.

Professor Reis said:

“Clearly, a recipient needs to notice a compassionate act in order to emotionally benefit from it.

But recognition is much less a factor for the donor.”

The study was published in the journal Emotion (Reis et al., 2017).

Cheating is most common in these professions and when key age milestones are approaching, according to a survey.

Bankers, pilots and doctors head the list of cheating professionals, according to a survey.

People working in finance, aviation and healthcare are most likely to cheat on their partners.

Cheating is more common as people reach milestone birthdays, such as 29, 39 and 49, a recent study also revealed.

Here is the full list of nine professions from the survey conducted for an infidelity dating website:

1. Financial (Bankers, brokers, analysts, etc.)
2. Aviation (Pilots, flight attendants, flight pursers, etc.)
3. Healthcare (Doctors, nurses, nursing assistants, etc.)
4. Business (CEOs, managers, secretaries, etc.)
5. Sports (Athletes, instructors, representatives, etc.)
6. Arts (Musicians, models, actors, photographers, etc.)
7. Nightlife Industry (DJs, dancers, waiters, etc.)
8. Communication (Journalists, public relations, communicators, etc.)
9. Legal (Lawyers, secretaries, prosecutors, judges, etc.)

Over 5,000 women who were currently cheating, or have cheated on their partner, were surveyed.

The survey found that two-thirds cheated at work, despite 85 percent saying it was better to avoid relationships with colleagues.

The advantage of the workplace, though, is it easier to find someone there and it makes work more exciting, survey respondents indicated.

Naturally, the main problem was if workplace romance ended badly and you had to continue working with that person.

Cheating when approaching a milestone

Another survey of 42,000 adults has revealed that people are more likely to cheat when approaching a milestone birthday, like 30, 40 or 50.

This seems to be about the search for meaning.

Dr Adam Alter, first author of that study, said:

“People audit the meaningfulness of their lives as they approach a new decade.

People tend to either conclude happily that their lives are meaningful or they decide their lives lack meaning.

Some people might struggle to come to terms with the conclusion that their lives lack meaning. They might seek a socially damaging extramarital affair.”

The study was published in the journal PNAS (Alter & Hershfield, 2014).