Narcissism - Page 2 of 6

How To Identify The Signs Of Narcissism And Protect Yourself

Discover the key signs of narcissism, from grandiosity to lack of empathy, and learn to recognise narcissistic behaviour in relationships.

Understanding the signs of narcissism can help you navigate relationships with narcissists and protect yourself from emotional harm.

Narcissism is more than just self-obsession or vanity.

It’s a complex personality disorder characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy.

What is Narcissism?

At its core, narcissism refers to an excessive focus on oneself.

While many people may exhibit narcissistic traits at some point in their lives, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a more severe, chronic condition.

Individuals with NPD often struggle with maintaining healthy relationships and may be unaware of how their behaviour affects others.

Key Features of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Grandiosity – an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Need for admiration – craving constant attention and praise
Lack of empathy – difficulty understanding or caring about others’ feelings
Entitlement – expecting special treatment or believing they deserve more than others
Exploitative behaviour – using others to achieve personal goals
Arrogance – acting superior to others in both attitude and behaviour

Early Warning Signs of Narcissism

Narcissistic traits may not be immediately obvious, but certain early behaviours can signal deeper issues.

Recognising these signs early can help you protect yourself before the relationship becomes more toxic.

Subtle Early Behaviours to Watch For:

Constant need for validation – they frequently seek compliments or affirmation.
Self-centred conversations – they always steer conversations back to themselves.
Dismissive of others’ opinions – they tend to ignore, belittle, or brush off the perspectives of others.
Frequent boasting – they boast excessively about their achievements or status.
Lack of accountability – they avoid taking responsibility for mistakes or failures.

Key Signs of Narcissism

As narcissistic behaviour intensifies, several hallmark signs become more apparent.

These behaviours tend to undermine healthy relationships and cause emotional harm to those around them.

Grandiosity and a Sense of Superiority

Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and believe they are superior to others.

They often expect others to treat them as special or more important than anyone else.

Lack of Empathy

One of the most troubling signs of narcissism is a lack of empathy.

Narcissists struggle to connect emotionally with others and have difficulty understanding or caring about others’ feelings.

Exploitative Behaviour

Narcissists often view people as tools to achieve their own goals.

They may manipulate or exploit others to get what they want, without any regard for the other person’s feelings or needs.

Arrogance and Entitlement

Narcissists believe they deserve the best of everything and often become frustrated or angry if they don’t get what they want.

This sense of entitlement leads them to expect special treatment from others.

Envy of Others

Narcissists are frequently envious of others and believe others are envious of them.

They constantly compare themselves to others and feel threatened by the success or happiness of others.

Types of Narcissism

While narcissism may manifest differently from person to person, it can generally be divided into distinct types.

Grandiose Narcissism

This is the most recognisable form of narcissism, often characterised by arrogance, exaggerated self-importance, and a relentless pursuit of admiration.

Grandiose narcissists display a high level of confidence and seek dominance in every interaction.

They often believe they are superior to others and crave validation, using manipulation and charm to get what they want.

Key traits: arrogance, entitlement, lack of empathy, and exploitative behaviour.

Vulnerable Narcissism

In contrast to the grandiose type, vulnerable narcissists are more introverted and insecure.

They may exhibit narcissistic traits as a defence mechanism to protect themselves from perceived rejection or inadequacy.

These individuals often feel unappreciated or victimised, leading to hypersensitivity to criticism and an underlying sense of fragility.

Key traits: hypersensitivity, low self-esteem, social withdrawal, and feelings of inadequacy.

Malignant Narcissism

This form combines traits of narcissism with antisocial behaviour and is considered the most dangerous.

Malignant narcissists not only seek admiration but also display tendencies for manipulation, aggression, and a lack of remorse.

Their behaviour can be abusive and harmful to those around them, driven by a need for power and control over others.

Key traits: aggression, sadism, manipulativeness, and a lack of remorse.

Covert Narcissism

Covert narcissists, also known as closet narcissists, are less overt in their behaviour but still possess many of the classic traits of narcissism.

They may appear shy, self-deprecating, or introverted but harbour deep feelings of grandiosity.

This type is often difficult to spot because they hide their narcissism behind a mask of humility or even insecurity.

Key traits: passive-aggressiveness, sensitivity to criticism, hidden feelings of superiority.

Narcissism in Relationships

Narcissistic behaviours can cause significant damage in personal relationships.

Whether it’s a romantic partner, a family member, or a friend, dealing with a narcissist can leave you feeling drained and emotionally bruised.

Common Relationship Dynamics with Narcissists:

Lack of emotional connection – narcissists struggle to form deep, meaningful connections.
Manipulation and control – they often use manipulation to control others and maintain power in relationships.
Blame-shifting – they rarely accept fault and will often blame others for problems.
Emotional abuse – narcissists may engage in subtle or overt forms of emotional abuse, leaving their partners feeling confused and hurt.

Causes and Risk Factors

The exact cause of narcissism is not fully understood, but several factors can contribute to the development of narcissistic traits or NPD.

Potential Causes:

Genetics – some studies suggest that narcissistic traits may have a genetic component.
Childhood experiences – overly critical or overly adoring parenting may contribute to narcissistic traits.
Environmental factors – societal pressures and cultural norms that emphasise competition and success can also influence narcissistic behaviours.

How to Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Behaviour

Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging, but there are steps you can take to protect your emotional well-being.

Practical Strategies for Coping:

Set firm boundaries – be clear about what behaviour is unacceptable and enforce boundaries consistently.
Limit emotional engagement – try not to get emotionally invested in their manipulative tactics.
Seek support – whether through therapy or supportive relationships, having a network to lean on can help you navigate difficult situations.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist and it’s affecting your mental health, it may be time to seek professional help.

Narcissistic personality disorder can be difficult to manage without proper treatment, and therapy can help you develop strategies to protect your mental well-being.

Signs You May Need Professional Support:

You’re feeling overwhelmed by the narcissist’s behaviour.
You struggle to set and maintain boundaries.
The relationship is negatively affecting your self-esteem or mental health.

There Are 3 Types Of Narcissism — And Here’s How They Change With Age (M)

How aging transforms self-centred behaviours.

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Male And Female Narcissists Differ In One Critical Way (M)

The type of narcissism that is linked to bullying and violence among women differs from men.

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The Most Noticeable Sign Of A Narcissist Tends To Soften With Age (M)

Aging: the ultimate antidote to narcissism?

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This Is The Worst Type of Narcissist – They Are Socially Toxic

“They’re thinking really negative, hostile, critical things about other people.”

Narcissistic perfectionists — like the late Steve Jobs — are arguably the worst type of narcissists.

They are grandiose, see themselves as special, have a high sense of entitlement and extremely high expectations of others.

Plus, they love to criticise.

Logan Nealis, the study’s first author, said:

“A narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter on the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else out there.
They’re getting a sense of vitality or self-esteem through the perfect performance of other people, and they bask in that glow vicariously.”

For the research, students were asked to keep 28-day diaries.

The results revealed that narcissistic perfectionists were socially toxic.

Dr Simon Sherry, study co-author, said:

“Our most consistent finding across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, derogation, conflict and hostility.”

Dr Sherry continued:

“When you look at what appears to be happening between the ears of a narcissistic perfectionist, you see they’re thinking really negative, hostile, critical things about other people.
They maintain this superior sense of themselves: ‘I’m perfect, I’m awesome, and you’re not so you’re defective.”

The study’s authors analyse the biographies of famous narcissistic perfectionists, include former Apple CEO, Steve Jobs:

“According to one biography, [Jobs] expected perfection from others in an entitled, demanding, and hyper-critical manner.
Employees reported going from ‘hero to zero’ in Jobs’ estimation after even minor mistakes; employees also noted Jobs routinely derogated them in front of co-workers.”

Logan Nealis said:

“If you have high expectations of someone, that may well be a positive thing—if it’s paired with a warm, nurturing interpersonal style.
But high expectations paired with feelings of grandiosity and entitlement to the perfect performance of others creates a much more negative combination.”

Dr Sherry continued:

“We may be characterizing a problem of our times.
It may very well be that we live in an age of entitlement where grandiose demands are often made in everyday life.
Narcissistic perfectionists have a need for other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations… And if you don’t, they get angry [see: narcissistic rage].
Making them more aware of the impact [their actions] ultimately have on others might—keyword, “might”—spark change.”

The study was published in the Journal of Research in Personality (Nealis et al., 2015).

This Personality Trait Makes It Harder To Treat Depression (M)

The trait can make people hostile, so that depression is harder to treat.

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Is Your Partner A Cheater? These 3 Personality Traits Might Explain It

Infidelity often has a highly corrosive effect on relationships.

Narcissism is one of the strongest predictors that someone will cheat in their relationship, research finds.

Narcissists are likely to be vain, egocentric and over-confident — they like to show off their bodies, talk about themselves and put other people down.

Two other personality factors that predict people’s infidelity are unstable emotions and psychopathy.

People who are unstable are unreliable, careless, badly organised and find it hard to resist temptation.

Psychopaths, meanwhile, are irresponsible, spontaneous and manipulative.

The authors write:

“One of the strongest predictors is Narcissism.
Women high on Narcissism predict that they will flirt with, kiss, and date other men, as well as have one night stands, brief affairs, and serious affairs with other men.”

The results come from a study of 107 married couples who reported on their relationships and any infidelity.

Naturally, people who were dissatisfied with their relationship were more likely to have affairs.

Similarly, couples who had many complaints about their partners were also more likely to have an affair.

Complaints that predicted adultery included alcohol abuse, eyeing up other people, jealousy, condescension and being too possessive.

After narcissism, the authors explain that…

“…two equally strong predictors of mild and serious infidelity are low Conscientiousness and high Psychoticism.
These variables are correlated, and share the common component of impulsivity and inability to delay gratification.
And like Narcissism, Conscientiousness and Psychoticism are stronger predictors of women’s anticipated infidelities than men’s anticipated infidelities.
These findings suggest that a personality style marked by impulsivity, low dependability, and low reliability in general carries over…”

Infidelity often has a highly corrosive effect on relationships, the authors write:

“Infidelity may be the most destructive source of conflict inflicted on a marriage.
Despite its destructive impact, infidelities are estimated conservatively to occur in about half of all marriages.”

The study was published in the Journal of Research in Personality (Buss & Shackleford, 1997).

Narcissism: 9 Insightful Psychology Studies

How to spot a narcissist, how to tell it from high self-esteem, how the trait is related to eating disorders and how to deal with a narcissist.

Most people are at least somewhat narcissistic since, like all personality traits, narcissism exists on a continuum.

Narcissism refers to being self-centred, boastful and preoccupied with one’s own needs which, when you think about, is not all that uncommon.

From some angles, for example, high self-esteem can look like narcissism.

Indeed, researchers even find that ‘normal’ narcissism can be beneficial in some respects.

However, at the extremes, narcissism is a personality disorder that causes serious problems in personal relationships, at home and at work.

A narcissistic partner, relation or boss can be very difficult to cope with.

Here are 9 psychology studies from the members-only section of PsyBlog on the personality trait of narcissism.

(If you are not already, find out how to become a PsyBlog member here.)

How To Tell A Narcissist From Their Possessions

The kinds of things that narcissists buy.

Narcissists tend to buy products for themselves that make them stand out, research finds.

For example, they were more likely to buy a leather case that could be personally engraved, or a ‘limited edition’ of an electronic gadget.

Exclusivity and individuality is what a narcissist is looking for in a product.

Dr Aiden Gregg, who led the study, explained:

“Narcissists seek to self-enhance.
One way to do so is by buying products for symbolic as well as material reasons — for what they mean as well as what they do.
Our early results show that narcissists’ interest in consumer products, whether bought for themselves or for others, is strongly driven by the power of those products to positively distinguish them.
Narcissists feel better about themselves because they think they have succeeded in individualising or elevating themselves.”

Across three studies people were asked to imagine buying various items.

Time after time the narcissists chose things that were exclusive or that could be personalised.

For example, narcissists showed greater interest in a shirt that could be customised.

The study also looked at the type of gifts that narcissists buy for others.

These also tended to be more exclusive, suggesting they want others around them to be special or different as well.

Dr Russell Seidle, commenting on the study, said:

“As expected, narcissistic consumers demonstrate a preference for scarce products that correspond with their views of themselves as unique individuals.
Interestingly, these same consumers show a lower tendency to critically evaluate the actual characteristics of these goods.
That is, scarcity in and of itself seems to be the main driver of their purchasing behaviour.
These findings help to shed light on the importance of the symbolic value of purchasing decisions, which for these consumers seems to outweigh even the practical usefulness of the product being bought.”

The study was published in the journal Journal of Consumer Psychology (Sedikides et al., 2007).

The Surprising Advantage Of Being A ‘Normal’ Narcissist

Although normal narcissists are self-centred, they have a psychological edge.

‘Normal’ narcissists have a mental toughness that helps them succeed, research finds.

Normal narcissists are those that are more narcissistic than average, but are not clinical narcissists.

The study of 340 Italian adolescents found that, although young narcissists were self-centred, they did better on their exams than their IQ levels suggested.

Narcissists are not cleverer, but they are more assertive and confident — this allows them to make up for deficiencies elsewhere.

Dr Kostas Papageorgiou, who led the research, said:

“Narcissism is considered as a socially malevolent trait and it is part of the Dark Triad of personality traits — narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism.
Previous studies indicate that narcissism is a growing trend in our society but this does not necessarily mean that an individual who displays high narcissistic qualities has a personality disorder.
In our research, we focused on subclinical or “normal” narcissism.
Subclinical narcissism includes some of the same features of clinical syndrome — grandiosity, entitlement, dominance, and superiority.

Dr Papageorgiou explained the traits of a narcissist:

“If you are a narcissist you believe strongly that you are better than anyone else and that you deserve reward.
Being confident in your own abilities is one of the key signs of grandiose narcissism and is also at the core of mental toughness.
If a person is mentally tough, they are likely to embrace challenges and see these as an opportunity for personal growth.”

Dr Papageorgiou believes that mental toughness is the key:

“People who score high on subclinical narcissism may be at an advantage because their heightened sense of self-worth may mean they are more motivated, assertive, and successful in certain contexts.
Previous research is our lab has shown that subclinical narcissism may increase mental toughness.
If an individual scores high on mental toughness this means they can perform at their very best in pressured and diverse situations.

We should think in a more nuanced way about narcissism, says Dr Papageorgiou:

“It is important that we reconsider how we, as a society, view narcissism.
We perceive emotions or personality traits as being either bad or good but psychological traits are the products of evolution; they are neither bad nor good — they are adaptive or maladaptive.
Perhaps we should expand conventional social morality to include and celebrate all expressions of human nature.”

The study was published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (Papageorgiou et al., 2018).