How to break out of the vicious circle of loneliness.
Being self-centred is a key trait in causing loneliness.
Loneliness makes people more self-centred, which then makes them more lonely.
This vicious circle is hard to break out of, although part of the key is to target self-centredness.
Too much focus on the self can help protect people in the short-term, but in the long-term it perpetuates loneliness.
Loneliness is an emotion designed to tell us that we do not have enough pleasurable and rewarding social relationships in our lives.
Between 30-40 percent of people around the world report being constantly lonely.
Professor John Cacioppo, the study’s first author, said:
“If you get more self-centered, you run the risk of staying locked in to feeling socially isolated.
[…] targeting self-centeredness as part of an intervention to lessen loneliness may help break a positive feedback loop that maintains or worsens loneliness over time.”
The conclusions come from 229 people followed over 11 years as part of the Chicago Health, Aging and Social Relations Study.
Becoming too self-centred emerged as a critical component of loneliness.
Professor Cacioppo explained that humans evolved in groups, so other people are crucial to our happiness:
“Humans evolved to become such a powerful species in large part due to mutual aid and protection and the changes in the brain that proved adaptive in social interactions.
When we don’t have mutual aid and protection, we are more likely to become focused on our own interests and welfare.
That is, we become more self-centered.
This evolutionarily adaptive response may have helped people survive in ancient times, but in contemporary society may well make it harder for people to get out of feelings of loneliness.”
The study was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (Cacioppo et al., 2017).
